Vote Gallup for IWURC!

The International Western Union Regional Congress election is right now! There are three choices:
The Community of Essenine
The Meritocratic Federation of Pharthan
The Democratic Republic of Gallup.
But, there is only one right choice, and that is The Democratic Republic of Gallup. Why? Essenine has a "Fragile" economy, while Gallup has a "Very Strong" economy. Meanwhile, Pharthan has one of the largest "Corporate Welfare" programs ever.

Gallup has never dismissed an issue and has never had a war. Gallup is the right choice for the IWURC. All votes should be telegramed to our Official Chairman, The Civitatis of Kialga. The voting period will last until 2/25/13 EST in the evening. Vote Gallup!

The Community of Essenine would like to remind everyone that economics play no part in one's ability to make reasonable decisions. Indeed the Communities are working to stamp out what capitalism is rising within our borders.

Essenine has been working hard to establish a good relation with all nations, including Gallup, and we find this notion of 'right' and 'wrong' choices to be deplorable- judge ye not lest ye be judged, leaders of Gallup.

That said, Essenine would like to point out our flag. It's original. It's unique. It's not a copy of the Welsh flag or a picture of a man making a speech, and it's consistent throughout all Esseninian communications.

Vote wisely, friends, and you shall reap the rewards of your judgement.

The intellectuals of socialist Essenine wish you a happy election.

Essenine wrote:The Community of Essenine would like to remind everyone that economics play no part in one's ability to make reasonable decisions. Indeed the Communities are working to stamp out what capitalism is rising within our borders.

Essenine has been working hard to establish a good relation with all nations, including Gallup, and we find this notion of 'right' and 'wrong' choices to be deplorable- judge ye not lest ye be judged, leaders of Gallup.

That said, Essenine would like to point out our flag. It's original. It's unique. It's not a copy of the Welsh flag or a picture of a man making a speech, and it's consistent throughout all Esseninian communications.

Vote wisely, friends, and you shall reap the rewards of your judgement.

The intellectuals of socialist Essenine wish you a happy election.

Gallup is shocked that Essenine would stoop so low to criticize Gallup's flag. The Flag of a country has nothing on it's ability to make decisions. It's obvious Essenine is trying to distract the great people of the IWU from the truth.

We criticised your flag(s)? We merely said examples of what our flag ISN'T, oh leaders of Gallup, if you will read our response in greater detail. It is not the fault of Essenine if Gallup happens to exhibit the lack of originality, and ergo creative thinking, and ergo problem-solving and decision making abilities, that we were demonstrating that our country does not possess. This is another act of slander, Gallup. Think hard on what you say.

What do you think of our new political ad?
ANNOUNCER: Essenine says that he wants to talk about the issues.

(Close-up photograph of the head of a praying mantis, labeled Essenine.)

ANNOUNCER: Then why is Essenine telling lies about Gallup? Gallup is good.

(A smiling Jesus Christ eating at a Gallup diner.)

ANNOUNCER: The facts are that since Essenine started playing more than 350 million people have died from various causes, including disease, famine, earthquakes, and machete attacks.

(The words OVER 350 MILLION DEAD superimposed on top of a grainy black-and-white photograph of Essenine.)

ANNOUNCER: Coincidence? Not according to these realistic-looking headlines.

(Newspaper headlines saying ESSENINE LINKED TO 350 MILLION DEATHS and NOT A COINCIDENCE.)

ANNOUNCER: Gallup thinks there's a better way.

(Close-up of Gallup. It has a halo.)

GALLUP REP.: Unlike my opponent, I think it's wrong for people to die.

(He then touches a dead senior citizen, who sits up in the casket, smiles, and shakes his hand.)

ANNOUNCER: Gallup for IWURC. (Significant pause.) I'm quitting this announcer job. I'm going to do something more honest, like rob graves.

*ahem*
Essenine would be more accurately depicted as an argentbois ape.
Essenine does not lie.
Using Jesus Christ to imply 'good' is like using the Pope to to imply 'honesty', as each were very selective in displaying those traits.
Essenine does not play. Essenine is a nation, not a game.
Anything can be linked to anything. Incidentally, we take the accusation of mass murder very seriously. Issue a formal apology or we will have to take measures.
A halo for a country is so mind-bogglingly physics defying that it makes no sense whatsoever.
Essenine thinks it's natural for people to die, not 'wrong'. Murder is wrong. Dying is not.
What is dishonest about robbing graves?

What do you think of my newest ad?

ANNOUNCER: Essenine says he wants to run a positive campaign. I know this because I do the professional announcing for both candidates in this race. But the truth is that Essenine is running the most negative campaign in history, according to these actual newspaper headlines.

(Montage of headlines: ESSENINE RUNNING MOST NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN IN HISTORY, ESSENINE IS BAD, THESE ARE ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES, etc.)

ANNOUNCER: Gallup thinks we've had enough.

(The Gallup Rep. wearing casual clothes in earth tones, standing in a sunlit meadow, stroking a worshipful dog.)

GALLUP REP.: I'm the Rep. from Gallup, and I think we've had enough of Essenine negative campaign distortions, paid for by special interests bent on destroying the planet.

(Grainy black-and-white photograph of Essenine shaking hands with Darth Vader.)

GALLUP REP.: I don't think that's the kind of leadership we need. I think we need the kind of leadership who wears casual earth-tone clothes and is stroking this dog, which tested well with focus groups. I love animals, which is more than I can say for my opponent.

(Grainy black-and-white photo of Essenine hitting a kitten with a hammer.)

ANNOUNCER: Let's send the message to Essenine that we're sick and tired of the negative campaigning and the brutal attacks on furred baby animals. Let's send a positive, caring, earth-tone wearer to fight the special interests in the IWURC. Let's elect Essenine.

SECOND ANNOUNCER: (Whispering) No! Gallup!

ANNOUNCER: That's what I meant.

*Essenine posts a picture of Micheal Estings shaking hands with Darth Vader... and Gallup's leader shaking hands with Anakin from the prequel trilogy, saying 'If it's a choice between the one who dies a hero and a father, and a whiny adolescent obsessed with a woman he met when she was twice his age, I know who I'd pick'*

I forgot to concede my loss. Congrats, Ess and Phar.