Bolidorean Barking Spiders!

Bolidorean Barking Spider Store

Welcome to the Bolidorean Barking Spider Store. We offer the best in home and business protection with our Bolidorean barking spiders, renown throughout the world for their fierce temperaments, aggressive territoriality, sharp barks and malodorous warning scents. No intruder will feel safe with a Bolidorean barking spider in his presence!

Whether you are concerned with the occassional theft or need a heavy-duty deterrent to a gang of thugs, we have the right sort of Bolidorean barking spider for you.

Enterprises and governments interested in wholesale protection for multiple installations should contact us for a bulk discount. Prices quoted are in NationStates dollars ($NS).

Bolidorean Blue Barking Spider

Bolidorean Blue Barking Spider:

The Bolidorean Blue is a medium-sized Barking Spider with a leg span of approximately fifteen centimeters. It is known for its iridescent blue legs, with a light gray prosoma and banded gray opithosoma. It emits a loud, wet sounding bark, and the odor accompanying its alarm is likened to 3-day old stale frothy banana beer left in the sun. Non-poisonous, it nevertheless looks and smells fearsome. Intruders often flee at the bark of the Bolidoren Blue Barking Spider. Get one today! (Price: $130 $NS)

Bolidorean Orange-Ringed Barking Spider

Bolidorean Orange-Ringed Barking Spider:

The Bolidorean Orange-Ringed is a small-sized Barking Spider with a leg span of approximately ten centimeters. It is known for its orange, black and yellow banded legs, with a black prosoma nearing an orange ring, and black opithosoma with yellow tints. It emits a tight, high-pitched squeaking bark, and the odor accompanying its alarm is likened to a good plate of refried frijoles. Mildly poisonous, its appearance is a clear warning to intruders to stay away. Get one today! (Price $100 $NS)

Bolidorean Purple Haze Barking Spider

Bolidorean Purple Haze Barking Spider:

The Bolidorean Purple Haze is a medium-sized Barking Spider with a leg span of approximately thirteen centimeters. It is known for its its hazy purple-haired legs, its deep black prosoma and its black and purple banded opithosoma. It emits a long deep rumble of a bark, and its warning odor smells of bad eggs, orange juice and Fido's gift all left in a tupperware container under the driver's seat of the car for a week in the hot Bolidorean sun. (just saying, you know.) Although moderately poisonous, most intruders will pass out at the odor of the Bolidorean Purple Haze and never feel the fangs bite. Get one today! (Price $250 $NS)

Bolidorean Rose-Backed Barking Spider

Bolidorean Rose-Backed Barking Spider:

The Bolidorean Rose-Backed is a large-sized Barking Spider with a leg span of approximately eighteen centimeters. It is known for its rose-colored petals on the back of its prosoma and its light brown hairs on its lages. It barks with a loud bleat and the resulting odor smells of stale root beer and candy corn from a night of Halloween binge eating.Non-poisonous, it is a fearsome looking and territorial creature that puts the fear of something into the heart of every intruder. (Price $90 $NS)

[/b]

Hello,

We at the IIA (Iloi Intelligence Agency) are most interested in your Bolidorean Rose-Backed Barking Spider. We would use said spiders in our "interrogations" as we believe the sight of one would cause most to mentally collapse. We would like to purchase 50 specimens.

Also I would personally like to purchase a Bolidorean Blue Barking Spider for my son as his birthday is next month.

We will forward you the balance of 4,630 $NS.

Sincerely,
Grand Director Travis Visolium, IIA
Iloistalibad, Federation of Iloistan

Dear Grand Director Travis Visolium:

We're quite pleased to send you 50 of our finest Bolidorean Rose-Backed Barking Spiders to the Iloi Intelligence Agency. Because your agency qualifies for a bulk discount rate, we only ask that you remit the balance due of $3,875 ($NS) for the fifty spiders.

And, in the interest of soliciting further business (and knowing how one back scratches another in any banana republic), my supervisor here at the Bolidorean Barking Spider Store has authorized me to throw in a free Bolidorean Blue Barking Spider for your son's birthday next month. It will be shipped along with the fifty Bolidorean Rose-Backed Barking Spiders in its own segregated container, so as to ensure that the odor when the package is opened is not too overwhelming.

Sincerely,
Bob Barker, Broker
The Bolidorean Barking Spider Store
Musa, The Republic of Bolidor